Cary Grant's Daughter Opens Up on His Devotion, Style and Sexuality

There are memoirs by children of movie stars like the scathing 'Mommie Dearest,' about Joan Crawford, and then there are books like
'Good Stuff,' by Cary Grant's only child, Jennifer Grant. 'Good Stuff' is a loving portrait of her debonair dad who was 62 when she was born and died twenty years later. The star of so many classic movies like 'North by Northwest,' Notorious' and 'His Girl Friday,' was a devoted father who retired to raise his daughter and took endless photos and tape recorded their conversations to set it all in stone. Grant's mother, Dyan Cannon, divorced the screen legend when Jennifer was only a year old and although a bitter divorce and custody battle ensued, clearly they patched up their differences and co-parented their only child with no acrimony.
Jennifer Grant spoke to
PopEater about what inspired the wholly uncontroversial book (weird for a star-child memoir, we know), what it was like to have your dad retire from super-stardom to raise you, her befuddlement with rumors Cary was gay and she even lists his few and rare faults.
What's the emotion you feel when you stumble across one of your dad's films on TV?
I'm proud of him. He was such an amazing talent and he's fun to watch. It's fun to turn on one of his films. I know I'm going to laugh and be entertained and I'm always surprised even though I've seen them countless times. Last night I saw, 'To Catch a Thief,' at a film festival. It was the first time I'd seen one of his films on the big screen.
Really?
I know. I never went out to look for his films in theaters. I've seen them when they come on and I own several of them.
Which one is your favorite?
I have so many and a different one comes to mind every time I'm asked. The one that just came to mind when you asked was 'Bringing Up Baby' because I love Katharine Hepburn and it's just a sweet, happy movie. I love 'Suspicion,' 'North by Northwest,' 'An Affair to Remember,' 'His Girl Friday.' There are so many that's the thing. But last night I was struck by the economy of motion, the grace in his movements which on the big screen I particularly notice and he had it all through his life and it was something very signature to my father.
How did this book come about?
I was finally ready to share Dad with the world, it took me a while. I've always thought of a memoir as something nasty and terrible and I wouldn't have known what to write so it never really crossed my mind but a couple of friends of mine in the same week asked me if I had ever considered writing a book on Dad and something about it struck me deeply because these are people very close to me, know how private I am and have been my entire life and I realized my memoir didn't have to be like anybody else's. So I put pen to paper and started.
Explain the title, 'Good Stuff.'
Well it's something that he said. It could be about something very simple. It might be a quiet, lovely day and we'd be out on the lawn having a cup of tea and maybe Barbara (Grant's fifth wife) would walk out with some coffee cake and he'd say, 'Mmm, good stuff, isn't it?' He had a relish of life and that was one of his catchphrases.
Your Dad was an incredible father. Doesn't every man fall way short?
Thankfully I can put it in the Dad category. Really I just missed him, that was the resounding emotion and I don't think I ever really expected anyone to be like my father. First of all it's so unique that a father retires when you're born and really his life revolved around me so I had a very egocentric point of view. A tremendous amount of focus and one on one time. It took me a while to be accustomed to sharing, to more than a one on one relationship with any of my friends. I'm just used to one on one, for me to divide my focus is challenging. Hopefully I've gotten better at it.
What is also lovely is that you have a wonderful relationship with your step-mother.
We're very close friends. There's some luck in it but there's also a good measure of preparation. Dad didn't wait till he was gone and then have some reading of the will and Dad didn't wait to discuss his passing. We all got to sit and talk about it which I think is really helpful. Thankfully neither of us really wanted to hear about it. We just wanted him to stay around.
Can you believe how much style your Dad had?
More and more as I grow older. Again watching 'To Catch A Thief,' my God the way he carries himself. Simple timeless elegance.
I love the way you were raised. You had to pay for half of your car.
I'm glad as well. It was a very practical and kind thing to do. Still when it came time for me to leave college and go out in the real world, my father just happened to pass right then, it was a blow to look at the real world. I had no idea how to negotiate out there or little idea and those things like working for my car helped to prepare me.
Your Dad documented so much of your life!
As I got into my teen years he didn't document because I needed more privacy but until I was about 12 he would put that tape recorder in my room and talk to me and photograph everything he could. Once I hit 13 I got moody and didn't want my braces showing or something so he was restricted by my ego.
What do you make of the rumors that your Dad was gay?
It's sort of odd to me really because I was so close to him and I never saw any evidence of anything. I think generally even though one may not be looking for something there would be hints and there were no hints so it was sort of out of left field for me to hear something. I wouldn't know what to say to that. I always knew my father's girl friends and I never thought about what they did behind closed doors. It's not as though his sexuality was foremost on my mind but certainly homosexuality didn't enter my picture with him. I wondered if that's something that happened before I was around - who knows?
Describe him as a father.
He was thoughtful to the tiniest detail. He was compassionate, a remarkable listener, he was wise, he was generous and he was fun and funny.
Any bad points?
He could be grumbly sometimes. Prior to travel especially for a day or two or if he was upset with me he gave me the silent treatment. I hated that.
Your Dad had a beautiful full head of white hair. Is it hard for you to look at balding men?
(Laughs) I've never thought of it that way. You know I've never really tried to compare men to my father. He was his own niche and it's sort of a fruitless endeavor to try and compare so I don't do it.
More Q&As From Nicki Gostin: Rob Lowe, Robert Redford, Gwyneth Paltrow and Raquel Welch
Add a comment
I loved Cary Grant in Arsenic and Old Lace. Such a funny, funny movie; I loved him in that one.
So nice to hear so many positive things about a celebrity dad. You were truly blessed, Jennifer.
Reply
Suave, debonair, handsome, funny, great accent and most of all, he made all the ladies swoon. What a man. Thanks for sharing your wonderful father with the rest of us. He made life a little happier. be happy if you can.
Reply
The rumour that Cary Grant was gay, had it's origins in the fact that when he was starting out in Hollywood, he and actor Randolph Scott lived together for several years.
They claimed to be platonic heterosexual roommates trying to save money by sharing expenses. But others with only hearsay evidence claimed that there was something more to it. And so the rumours followed both men 'inside' Hollywood, but weren't known to the general public, until after they'd both retired from acting. When OUTING every famous person who was rumoured to be gay, became a cottage industry in the 1970's and 80's.
Reply
Thats great that she has fond memories of her father. Cary Grant was an amazing actor. I loved him in Arsenic and Old Lace, Philadelphia Story and His Girl Friday. In reference to Joan Crawford, remember her daughter Christina Crawford wrote the book and is only sharing her side of the story. There are two sides to everything and Joan Crawford was not alive to defend herself when the book and the movie was released. Nobody knows what really happened in that household and no family is perfect and I'm not saying it didn't happen but I'm not going to say that it did happen to the full extent of what Joan Crawford's daughter says because when people want fame or need money sometimes stories are exxagerated and things are made up so who knows we are only seeing one side. Also when Joan Crawford left her two children out of the will, she said for reasons known to them so Joan may of been aware of Christina writing a book and to be honest only those kids and Joan know the real truth on why they were not included in her will because the other children Joan adopted state that they never experienced that so who knows what to believe. Good day!
Reply
What an incredible gal! Grant, whether gay or st8, he was a hot man and a great actor! His movies have stood the test of time.
Reply
Just ordered my book... can't wait to read it, LOVE Cary Grant movies and he stopped making them 7 years before I was born. I've got my 11 year old daughter hooked on them now.
Reply
What a refreshing piece of work. Cary Grant was one of the best looking guys to ever hit Hollywood. So sauve, debonaire and could be funny as heck. What a treasure. I'm so glad his only child has such happy memories.
Reply
Just another bimbo trying to make a buck off her dead father. What a world of greed and lies.
Reply
Hey BUBBLES - Go somewhere and .... POP !!!!
Reply
I don't care if he was gay, but he was 1st person to use the word gay to mean homosexuality in a movie. "Bringing up Baby" when he was wearing a woman's robe.
Reply
ITS SO REFRESHING TO HEAR A FAMOUS STAR'S OFFSPRING BRAG ABOUT THEIR FATHER INSTEAD OF GOING THE SENSATIONALISM ROUTE FOR MONEY...MR GRANT WAS AND ALWAYS WILL BE ....TOP DRAW....HANDSOME, FUNNY, CHARMING, ENTERTAINING, ALWAYS WELL DRESSED, SHALL I GO ON....THE LIST IS ENDLESS....THANK YOU JENNIFER FOR BEING YOU....YOUR DAD WOULD BE PROUD....
Reply
Jennifer, Your a beauty, just like your mom!
Reply
I think that this book will be a hit. Who doesn't love Cary Grant? I have always thought he was a beautiful man,both inside and out and I was happy when he finally had a child! I'm glad to see that she had a good realtionship with her father. I was a Daddy's girl,too and I miss talking to him as I used to do when I was younger(he's deceased,too). And boy,does she look like her mother! It's amazing! Good luck on the book!
Reply
Wake up people, Carey Grant was openly gay back in the 20s nd 30s he lived openly as gay!!! He did not hide it so why are you people acting like he wasn't?!?!?!?! He lived his life the way he wanted, it was only later that he started hiding it, because of his studio bosses. He was gay and happy to be gay, get over it!!!!!!!!!! He was also the best dressed man in pictures!!!!!!!
Reply
She's pretty - looks like her mom and dad. I remember Dyan Cannon speaking so highly of Cary Grant, so I wonder why, if they had such a custody battle?
Reply
I read Cary Grant's biography a few years ago and it was stupendous. It was well-written and slightly touched on the fact that he might have been gay. But in the end, what did it matter? He had quirky traits like everyone else, but he tried most of his life to live up to the "Cary Grant" image. He once said "I wish I WAS Cary Grant." He was a tremendous actor and obviously a great father. I wish he eternal rest and his daughter a lifetime of happiness. Good job Jennifer! FROM: Cyndi in DC
Reply
Hope this hasn't already been said but 'Bubbles' sounds like the kind of bubbles a bad little boy makes in a tub of water. I too don't care if Cary Grant was gay but last year i read a book The Leading Men Of MGM and it has several fascinating male couplings including Cary & Randolph, Elvis and an actor named Nick Adams, and of all things Clark Gable taking it up you-know-what in a hotel bathroom.These were supposedly researched stories but who knows.
Reply
I read that book, too, it was really fascinating! The things the public doesn't know, lol! ... I'm looking forward to reading "Good Stuff". I don't think there has EVER been such a wonderful movie star as Cary Grant. There really is no one who can quite measure up. There are other wonderful actors, but Cary Grant was one of a kind.
Why do we use the word gay to describe homosexuals? Are they really that happy all the time? And why is it all right for them to holler " we're here, we're queer" etc. but the word is offensive if used by a heterosexual? And, no, I do not have an unnatural fear of my own kind (homophobia)nor do I hate anyone I've never met like the fellow who seems to think that heterosexual men can't possibly make good fathers,I'm just not sure Mr. Grant would have appreciated being thought of this way and his memory desrves a little respect.
Reply
I had many gay friends in my youth who used the "Q" word on themselves often, not as a perjorative but as a sign of what they perceived to be pride. I guess it would be similar to blacks using the "N" word on each other. Semantics for some, perjoratives for others. In my youth when I had gay friends and was also bi for 2 years, heterosexuals were sneeringly called "breeders" and children sometimes called "rugrats", by many gays I met. Strange how that has shifted now that some gays want children....
Reply