Cary Grant's Daughter Opens Up on His Devotion, Style and Sexuality

There are memoirs by children of movie stars like the scathing 'Mommie Dearest,' about Joan Crawford, and then there are books like
'Good Stuff,' by Cary Grant's only child, Jennifer Grant. 'Good Stuff' is a loving portrait of her debonair dad who was 62 when she was born and died twenty years later. The star of so many classic movies like 'North by Northwest,' Notorious' and 'His Girl Friday,' was a devoted father who retired to raise his daughter and took endless photos and tape recorded their conversations to set it all in stone. Grant's mother, Dyan Cannon, divorced the screen legend when Jennifer was only a year old and although a bitter divorce and custody battle ensued, clearly they patched up their differences and co-parented their only child with no acrimony.
Jennifer Grant spoke to
PopEater about what inspired the wholly uncontroversial book (weird for a star-child memoir, we know), what it was like to have your dad retire from super-stardom to raise you, her befuddlement with rumors Cary was gay and she even lists his few and rare faults.
What's the emotion you feel when you stumble across one of your dad's films on TV?
I'm proud of him. He was such an amazing talent and he's fun to watch. It's fun to turn on one of his films. I know I'm going to laugh and be entertained and I'm always surprised even though I've seen them countless times. Last night I saw, 'To Catch a Thief,' at a film festival. It was the first time I'd seen one of his films on the big screen.
Really?
I know. I never went out to look for his films in theaters. I've seen them when they come on and I own several of them.
Which one is your favorite?
I have so many and a different one comes to mind every time I'm asked. The one that just came to mind when you asked was 'Bringing Up Baby' because I love Katharine Hepburn and it's just a sweet, happy movie. I love 'Suspicion,' 'North by Northwest,' 'An Affair to Remember,' 'His Girl Friday.' There are so many that's the thing. But last night I was struck by the economy of motion, the grace in his movements which on the big screen I particularly notice and he had it all through his life and it was something very signature to my father.
How did this book come about?
I was finally ready to share Dad with the world, it took me a while. I've always thought of a memoir as something nasty and terrible and I wouldn't have known what to write so it never really crossed my mind but a couple of friends of mine in the same week asked me if I had ever considered writing a book on Dad and something about it struck me deeply because these are people very close to me, know how private I am and have been my entire life and I realized my memoir didn't have to be like anybody else's. So I put pen to paper and started.
Explain the title, 'Good Stuff.'
Well it's something that he said. It could be about something very simple. It might be a quiet, lovely day and we'd be out on the lawn having a cup of tea and maybe Barbara (Grant's fifth wife) would walk out with some coffee cake and he'd say, 'Mmm, good stuff, isn't it?' He had a relish of life and that was one of his catchphrases.
Your Dad was an incredible father. Doesn't every man fall way short?
Thankfully I can put it in the Dad category. Really I just missed him, that was the resounding emotion and I don't think I ever really expected anyone to be like my father. First of all it's so unique that a father retires when you're born and really his life revolved around me so I had a very egocentric point of view. A tremendous amount of focus and one on one time. It took me a while to be accustomed to sharing, to more than a one on one relationship with any of my friends. I'm just used to one on one, for me to divide my focus is challenging. Hopefully I've gotten better at it.
What is also lovely is that you have a wonderful relationship with your step-mother.
We're very close friends. There's some luck in it but there's also a good measure of preparation. Dad didn't wait till he was gone and then have some reading of the will and Dad didn't wait to discuss his passing. We all got to sit and talk about it which I think is really helpful. Thankfully neither of us really wanted to hear about it. We just wanted him to stay around.
Can you believe how much style your Dad had?
More and more as I grow older. Again watching 'To Catch A Thief,' my God the way he carries himself. Simple timeless elegance.
I love the way you were raised. You had to pay for half of your car.
I'm glad as well. It was a very practical and kind thing to do. Still when it came time for me to leave college and go out in the real world, my father just happened to pass right then, it was a blow to look at the real world. I had no idea how to negotiate out there or little idea and those things like working for my car helped to prepare me.
Your Dad documented so much of your life!
As I got into my teen years he didn't document because I needed more privacy but until I was about 12 he would put that tape recorder in my room and talk to me and photograph everything he could. Once I hit 13 I got moody and didn't want my braces showing or something so he was restricted by my ego.
What do you make of the rumors that your Dad was gay?
It's sort of odd to me really because I was so close to him and I never saw any evidence of anything. I think generally even though one may not be looking for something there would be hints and there were no hints so it was sort of out of left field for me to hear something. I wouldn't know what to say to that. I always knew my father's girl friends and I never thought about what they did behind closed doors. It's not as though his sexuality was foremost on my mind but certainly homosexuality didn't enter my picture with him. I wondered if that's something that happened before I was around - who knows?
Describe him as a father.
He was thoughtful to the tiniest detail. He was compassionate, a remarkable listener, he was wise, he was generous and he was fun and funny.
Any bad points?
He could be grumbly sometimes. Prior to travel especially for a day or two or if he was upset with me he gave me the silent treatment. I hated that.
Your Dad had a beautiful full head of white hair. Is it hard for you to look at balding men?
(Laughs) I've never thought of it that way. You know I've never really tried to compare men to my father. He was his own niche and it's sort of a fruitless endeavor to try and compare so I don't do it.
More Q&As From Nicki Gostin: Rob Lowe, Robert Redford, Gwyneth Paltrow and Raquel Welch
Add a comment
it is unfortunate to see Mr. Grant's sexuality is what people here want to discuss. Certainly not a legacy he intended and certainly... defamatory. It is, after all, a rumor.... he has been gone many years without a definitive book on the subject. so Why cast shame on the memory of a man who is not here to defend himself... except to cloak your own depravity.
Reply
There was a rumor years ago that Cary Grant had an affair with Randolph Scott in between his marriages, but who knows. We miss him, and he was a fine actor. It's good to know that he was a loving father.
Reply
My favorite Carey Grant movie was the Bishops Wife with with Loretta Young and David Niven.
That movie was just so amazingly light hearted and funny. I also like Operation Petticoat and Suspicion. With Joan Fontaine
who is Oliva De Havlin Sister. I loved his nickname for her in the Movie Monkey Face.
I love the way he spoke. He was a sexy man. Carey Grant is one of my favorite actors of that time.
Reply
Hands down....Cary Grant is the best looking man in films...ever!
What a man!
Reply
Cary was in my opinion one of the best Hollywood ever produced. He could be funny and serious in the same scene. He was great in
"Charade" that was a great part. I could name so many, when one
of his movies is on TCM I am always there to watch. It is nice to
see his daughter appreciated him as her dad and wrote a nice book about her life with him.
Reply
Nice to see a celeb's child give a positive spin on their parenting.So many take the low road and try to get sympathy by bad mouthing them.Also the deal about Mr Grant's homosexuality is pretty much another cheap shot.
Reply
finally a child that has something nice to say, is not just digging up dirt for money. thank you
Reply
I KNEW GARY GRANT VERY WELL, WE WENT TO THE SAME COLLEGE AND THERE WERE RUMORS, SO ONE DAY I JUST ASKED HIM... HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID" JUDY, JUDY JUDY, DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU HEAR.
Reply
Which college was that, Judy? Acrobat or tumbler?
How refreshing! Thank you, Jennifer .. he is one of my all-time favorites! (You look so much like your Mom!)
Reply
Well, I suppose this will go over like a lead balloon, but there's something about adult children of celebrities publishing "personal memoirs" about them, that irks me. It seems self-serving to me. If anyone should keep private the lives of the rich and famous...it should be their children.
Reply
"Your Dad was an incredible father. Doesn't every man fall way short?"
Nicki Gostin sounds like a sexist female chauvinist.
Reply
That question about Grant's full head of hair has to be the dumbest collection of words to ever appear in print. Even if it was meant as a joke. The dumbest. Ever.
Reply
Rather be a breeder than a queer.
Reply
Your typical garden variety, softball-lobbing interview, until the last question: "Is it difficult for you to look at bald men?" Wow. Where does on even begin, with that gem? Yes, Nicki, we all know how painful it is to gaze upon men with no hair. I've heard tales of people doing this, and burning out their retinas. In more extreme cases, people have turned to stone, or actually died. How you got to be an interviewer, I'll never know. Why don't you try something a little more benign, like say, a toll booth attendant? And why do I get the sneaking suspicion that you yourself resemble the north end of a southbound cow?
Reply
At least Joan Crawford's daughter waited until her mother died before writing her book. Bette Davis' daughter wrote her nasty book while her mother was still alive and suffering from cancer.
Reply
Why do people have to be so preoccupied with sexuality? Why can't we just appreciate Cary Grant for the handsome, wonderful and talented actor he was? The world of film making is better because of him, and thats the way it is! Stay the heck out of his bedroom!
Reply
Christina Crawford was abused terribly!
Reply
Q. Don't all men fall way short? Thus asked by the perfect woman who knows no wrong. Get over yourself. If you don't you may be unpleasantly surprised one day as you stand before your maker.
Reply
Cary Grant carried himself with distinguishing dignity. I am glad his daughter has written the book about her dad's benign devotion and piety. Thanks Jennifer.
Reply