Sure, roller coasters can be fun, but when you’re stuck on one for hours, motion sickness sets in and for our girl Lindsay Lohan, scandal ensues. This tabloid princess is stuck on one hell of a ride and has developed a serious case of the spins. From DUIs, multiple stints in rehab, countless cat fights and daddy issues that would put Joe Jackson in the Father of the Year category, a cyclone of scandal seems to follow our favorite freckled redhead everywhere she goes.

 

At least the girl takes a good mug shot.

KISSING DISNEY GOODBYE

 

It all started back in 2002, just off the heels of her Disney glory days, when Lindsay got in the middle of her first tabloid snafu. Long before the days of Team Heidi vs. Team Lauren, it was Team Hilary (Duff) vs. Team Lindsay. It was rumored that the two were snarling over singer Aaron Carter, whom both had dated. She would also verbally duel with Ashlee Simpson in 2004 over boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama (whose influence landed her in bad favor with Disney for “un-Disney-like” behavior).

 

After several years of developing a reputation for ugly break-ups and a high tolerance for the party scene, Lindsay began attending AA meetings in 2006 and finally checked herself into rehab the following year. And, after filming I Know Who Killed Me (for which she would later receive a Razzie award for worst actress) she would prove to be unemployable—withdrawing or being dropped from three films in which she was slated to appear.

 

Then, the bomb that would unleash a world of shrapnel fell. On May 26, 2007, Lindsay was arrested for DUI and was sentenced to a 45-day rehab program before being forced to wear a SCRAM bracelet to ensure her sobriety. Not even two months later, Lindsay was arrested once again for DUI; but this time she upped the ante when she was found with a small amount of cocaine in her possession. She was sentenced to three years of probation and one day in jail—for which she served only 84 minutes due to overcrowding.

PARTNER IN CRIME

 

In 2008, Lindsay added another partner in crime to fuel the rumor mill fire. Lindsay was frequently seen with DJ Samantha Ronson before she confirmed the rumors of a relationship. Although fans were relieved to see Lindsay in a stable relationship, Lohan’s father, Michael, was not. In response to her father’s public defamation of Samantha, she responded via the New York Post, “Samantha is not evil, I care for her very much… She loves me, as I do her.”

 

But, the relationship came to an end and led to a string of public pleas from Lindsay begging Samantha to take her back. Lindsay’s rock bottom got deeper when she did not show for a mandatory court appearance in May 2010, which forced her to once again sport her SCRAM bracelet and adhere to weekly drug tests.

BACK TO THE BIG HOUSE

 

And, although we wanted her to prove us all wrong, Lindsay violated the terms of her probation when she failed one of her weekly drug tests and was sentenced to 90 days in prison, for which she only served 14. As if this ride wasn't bumpy enough, Lindsay added yet another loop on September 17, 2010 when she used her Twitter account to announce that she failed yet another probationary drug test. After posting $300,000 bail, Lindsay appeared in front of a judge, on October 22, who ordered her back to rehab until January 3.

 

But the New Year didn’t bring a clean slate for this embattled star. During her rehab stint, an employee at the Betty Ford Center brought charges against Lindsay for battery. Lindsay allegedly snuck out to a bar with some fellow rehabees, got caught sneaking back in and got into a confrontation with the staffer that got physical—a snafu that would have been just that if it didn’t violate the conditions of her parole.

STICKY FINGERS

She was put on probation upon leaving the clinic, but that didn't stop her from getting herself in even more hot water. Just weeks after her release, a Venice Beach jewelry store accused Lindsay of swiping a $2,500 necklace. Authorities waited until she was photographed sporting the necklace before issuing a search warrant, but a friend promptly returned it before they tore apart her home. She pleaded not guilty to charges of felony grand theft and was released on bail, but not before the judge warned, "don't push your luck."

 

Whether or not this latest will land Lindsay another ticket to jail remains to be seen but, for now, LiLo is free as a bird (on probation) and back in the loving arms of her media-mongering father, attention-hungry mother and lesbian ex-lover.

-Kiki Von Glinow